It is day drizzly
With grey skies occluding my view of the world.
I am trapped inside
Inside my home
Inside my mind
Inside my heart
I know the world of death
It has partnered me with parents
And walked by my side in cancer
Now it rides a larger horse
It Paul Reveres its way through life
Calling out “ the virus is coming, the virus is coming”
It presses ever in thoughts of my child
Of leaving her alone
Of leaving her abandoned
For all that evermore might bring
It colors a cold blue
Over my days, requiring daily temp checks
Slow breathing checks
What do I need checks
And checks to pay for life inside
It shadows loving
Putting us in different spaces
A set of steps
Closed doors
Our separation
Closed opportunities
Allocating less time to be
Close in touch
I stroll streets and walks with friendly waves
But hello is the only medium of exchange
Human contact at more than arms length
My body aches for the hugs I’ve shared
And share no more
My uproarious laugh is muted by distance and irony
Want it more often although it means even less
It is day drizzly
Clouds obscure mountain vistas
Close neighbors are even further away
Family, friends mere postage stamp screenshots
When words should mean so much
They feel like paltry fare
Near the bottom of the discard pile
Awaiting resurrection
It is day drizzly
And the pent up downpour
needs to release
A cleansing rush of water
Purging the rider from his larger horse
If only it were so simple
A Noah deluge to wash the world clean
And return flowers to fetid souls
I would welcome watching the clouds roil
I would glory hearing the thunder crack
I would willingly stare at bleak skies to see a lightening snap
To know the world would be cleansed
It is day drizzly
And I am home – with all and without